This is it everybody. This is the one. The SINGLE dumbest take in the HISTORY of baseball. It's dumber than saying Barry Bonds shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame, it's dumber than Jim Joyce calling Jason Donald safe, and it's dumber than claiming Britain invented baseball. If Abner Doubleday could hear this he wouldn't be rolling in his grave, he'd be spinning himself into a singularity and making all of Cooperstown implode into him.
After the Red Sox got caught cheating - yes cheating, this is cheating - by using Apple Watches to relay stolen signs, Jon Heyman came on Toucher and Rich this morning to talk about it. And Jon Heyman actually, truly, unironically, legitimately believes that the Red Sox should forfeit all their wins against the Yankees back to them for 2017.
What an idiot. Seriously? WHAT. A FUCKING. IDIOT. Jon you're a 30-year veteran writer you should be better than this. But then again you're currently employed at some "Fanrag Sports" racket so I guess you've aged more like milk than wine. This sounds like something a 14-year-old with a Weebly account would post, and I should know, I'm a 22-year-old with a Weebly account.
It's so asinine and biased for Heyman to say this. And to be honest one of the most egregious parts of this interview comes after he makes this laughable suggestion. Heyman worked as a Yankees beat writer for like 15 years and it shows. When Rich asked Heyman about the counter-claim filed by the Red Sox, rather than stay consistent and insist punishment if the Yankees are found guilty of a similar crime, Heyman decides to avoid the question entirely and say the claim means nothing because it's coming from a team with a history of cheating.
NEWSFLASH JONNY. The Yankees also have a long history of cheating, from the organized teamwide juicing in the 2000s to as recently as Pineda using pine tar like it was fucking Bengay. The Yankees make the Cardinals look like nuns. And what's worse? It shouldn't matter that the Yankees are a vile scummy dirty cheating franchise, or that the Red Sox have been publicly exposed as being underhanded both on and off the field in the last few years too. If cheating actually bothers you this much, Jon, you should have the same standards for everyone.
I thought Nate Silver's tweet that was as dumb as his hairpiece would rule Boston sports Twitter today. But somehow someway, Jon Heyman managed to be even dumber. When Tony Mazz - a grand master of peddling bullshit - says this is the dumbest thing he's ever heard in the history of Felger and Mazz, you know you've made a grievous error. So with that in mind, I'll say to Jon Heyman what I was going to say to Nate Silver today: shut the hell up you pathetically out of touch goofy-looking-ass New York scumbag nerd.